she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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