guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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