you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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