saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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