just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize