listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize