You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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