Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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