i would punch a child for taco bell
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
