She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
