Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
