I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
