The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
she told me i tasted like america
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
