Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
