Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize
