There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
false alarm. still invincible.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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