Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
