Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
