dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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