we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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