May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
