i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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