It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
