What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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