I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
