It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
love makes seman taste better
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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