K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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