We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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