Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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