There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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