I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
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I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
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I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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