God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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