It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
