Im at strip club and am horny
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
