I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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