So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
