how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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