I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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