I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
