she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
