Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Randomize
