Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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