I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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