but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
