There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
