I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
