Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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