i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm way too hungover for life right now
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
