well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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