Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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