Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
