She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
