Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
The adults are the big ones right?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
