that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
