She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
