Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
