U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize