I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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