yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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