omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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