talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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